Wednesday, September 22, 2010

People & their questions...

Lately....and for some reason more than usual....people have  been asking me what I "do". They ask: "Where do you work?" or "What do you do?" And this isn't an odd question, when making small talk, work usually comes up....it's on the list of "things to ask", along with the weather. But it's odd that it's been coming up A. LOT....I think it got around that I'm losing my job, or have lost my job, or something like that...people are nosy seem concerned. 

The people who have been asking, I kinda know their backgrounds...so I know their monetary situation,  ya know? So...my answer tends to be kind of complicated. Why? Because that question: What do you do?? it makes me feel bad to answer, "Oh, I'm just a mom" or "I just stay at home" when I know that the person asking HAS to work to support their family, HAS to spend 8-10 hours a day at a job they most likely hate. And I feel bad because I get to stay at home. And even worse...I feel bad because I actually CAN say "actually, I do work a little...from home" {cringe.....that always gets a "ooo, I would love that" reply....and I have to answer: sorrynocan'tgetyouajobtheydonthireanyoneindallasanymore}. And then...because I have diarrhea mouth sometime {when things just come out and I can't stop it} I go on to explain that "oh my job is ending, tho...and I'm so glad" and they ask "then what will you do" and I say "Umm...nothing. Stay at home. Stay at home and craft." lol...cause, um, that's what I want to do. I WANT to stay home...take care of my kids and sew and make crap. I'm trying hard {really, James, I am} to cut back on what I spend, so I CAN stay home....maybe do without the hoards of fabric I buy or the weekly stops at Target or make dinner so we dont end up at Olive Garden. So I can be at home.

I think it's important to be at home....mucho, mucho. If you have to work outside the home {which someday I may have to do that, esp if I can't. stop. spending.} then you have to, and that's that....but I'm gonna do what I have to {and thank goodness for a husband who will go out there, work and grow in his occupation and keep reeling in the 'big' bucks -ha} to be around my munchkins. Even if I'm probably not the best mom out there...yes, while I write this...Aube is playing MarioKart.

This month, we are celebrating the 15th anniversary of the The Family: A Proclamation to the World. One of my favorite, favorite  bloggers Jocelyn, of We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ, is doing a whole months worth of guest posting...you should check out the posts! There are some amazing women out there, sharing their thoughts on family. It's helped me a lot this month to have my beliefs reinforced.

Personally... this paragraph in the Proclamation is what comes to mind when I start to feel guilty for staying at home....
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

How can I let others influence me into feeling bad about being what Heavenly Father wants me to be...a Mother?? He wouldn't want me to compare myself to others...but I know that happens in everyone's life SO much....{check out this post from Clover Lane...she hit the nail on the head, esp for those of us who blog and read blogs....its sooooo easy to get that pit of jealousy started....when we should know that each of us has our OWN talents...that's the beauty of free agency and being here in mortal bodies...Heavenly Father loved us THAT much, that he didn't give us cookie cutter personalities....so stop it, stop it I say! ♥}.

Yeah...so that's a bunch of rambling....Ü

4 comments:

Jenni said...

Uhm first of all, NEVER be ashamed of being a SAHM. I think my sister is more tired now that she stays home than when she was working during the day.
I remember Stake Conference several years ago and one of the main point made (at least that I took away) was that whenever possible, mothers should be in the home with the children. He was blunt about not working and having kids in day care for the things you wanted versus an actual need for two incomes.
That was a big part of Derek and my decision not to expand our family. (This was prior to discovering my internal issues that might have made it all a moot point anyway.) We didn't want to enlarge our family and then ship the kid of to day care in six weeks and feel guilty / stressed about the next 18 years.
Know that you are a great mom and a good friend and example. heavenly Father is proud of you.

Bell Family Blog said...

So true Sarah, so true! I always feel bad when people ask what i do and I say Im a stay at home mom, like it doesn't have meaning or isn't a full time job, which it so is. What bothers me the most are those without kids who think I do nothing all day long. Like my brother for example. he is always saying little things that I don't think he realizes are rude. Him and his wife don't have kids and ever since I have been here they keep asking me if Im bored....like I have time to be bored. I don't know why they keep asking me that so when he asked again I finally said, I don't have time to be bored Im too busy and he actually said, Doing what!?! Um LIFE! Urg! Makes me mad, all day today all I did was clean, Laundry, cook, clean, homework, clean, bathe the kids.....we might not get paid for what we do, but that doesn't mean it isn't important. Sigh....sorry totally unloaded on you lol! Miss you and your cute family! :)

Krista said...

What a great post!! I have been struggling with this ever since I got prego with Aiden. I desperately want to stay home but I keep thinking....but I could be making money!! I haven't gone back to work and with Makenna in school, I feel like I am constantly busy. I keep wondering how in the world I would have time to go back to work. I would never be able to keep up. Plus, I feel it very important that I am home when Makenna comes home so we can do home work together and to be able to help in her class. I don't want to just see her for a half hour when I get home from work. I'm just going to have to make it work! Thanks for the reminder. This is what is most important!!

Cheree said...

Good post Sarah. I think we all, no matter what side of the fence we're on (working or SAHM) think the grass is greener on the other side. I think we each think the other is judging too . . .
When I get frustrated, I try to remember to read Proverbs 31. This noble woman, whom I sure is a mother too, sure does work hard! I don't think there should be any shame in working (whether one has the option to or not). I know you aren't saying that mothers shouldn't work. . . but I think all working moms feel guilty from time to time. It's unfortunate that we women insist on beating ourselves up (and our sisters too!) It's important to remind ourselvs that there are many ways to take care of ones family.

I should have just blogged on this myself. :)