People & their questions...

Lately....and for some reason more than usual....people have  been asking me what I "do". They ask: "Where do you work?" or "What do you do?" And this isn't an odd question, when making small talk, work usually comes up....it's on the list of "things to ask", along with the weather. But it's odd that it's been coming up A. LOT....I think it got around that I'm losing my job, or have lost my job, or something like that...people are nosy seem concerned. 

The people who have been asking, I kinda know their backgrounds...so I know their monetary situation,  ya know? So...my answer tends to be kind of complicated. Why? Because that question: What do you do?? it makes me feel bad to answer, "Oh, I'm just a mom" or "I just stay at home" when I know that the person asking HAS to work to support their family, HAS to spend 8-10 hours a day at a job they most likely hate. And I feel bad because I get to stay at home. And even worse...I feel bad because I actually CAN say "actually, I do work a little...from home" {cringe.....that always gets a "ooo, I would love that" reply....and I have to answer: sorrynocan'tgetyouajobtheydonthireanyoneindallasanymore}. And then...because I have diarrhea mouth sometime {when things just come out and I can't stop it} I go on to explain that "oh my job is ending, tho...and I'm so glad" and they ask "then what will you do" and I say "Umm...nothing. Stay at home. Stay at home and craft." lol...cause, um, that's what I want to do. I WANT to stay home...take care of my kids and sew and make crap. I'm trying hard {really, James, I am} to cut back on what I spend, so I CAN stay home....maybe do without the hoards of fabric I buy or the weekly stops at Target or make dinner so we dont end up at Olive Garden. So I can be at home.

I think it's important to be at home....mucho, mucho. If you have to work outside the home {which someday I may have to do that, esp if I can't. stop. spending.} then you have to, and that's that....but I'm gonna do what I have to {and thank goodness for a husband who will go out there, work and grow in his occupation and keep reeling in the 'big' bucks -ha} to be around my munchkins. Even if I'm probably not the best mom out there...yes, while I write this...Aube is playing MarioKart.

This month, we are celebrating the 15th anniversary of the The Family: A Proclamation to the World. One of my favorite, favorite  bloggers Jocelyn, of We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ, is doing a whole months worth of guest posting...you should check out the posts! There are some amazing women out there, sharing their thoughts on family. It's helped me a lot this month to have my beliefs reinforced.

Personally... this paragraph in the Proclamation is what comes to mind when I start to feel guilty for staying at home....

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

How can I let others influence me into feeling bad about being what Heavenly Father wants me to be...a Mother?? He wouldn't want me to compare myself to others...but I know that happens in everyone's life SO much....{check out this post from Clover Lane...she hit the nail on the head, esp for those of us who blog and read blogs....its sooooo easy to get that pit of jealousy started....when we should know that each of us has our OWN talents...that's the beauty of free agency and being here in mortal bodies...Heavenly Father loved us THAT much, that he didn't give us cookie cutter personalities....so stop it, stop it I say! ♥}.

Yeah...so that's a bunch of rambling....Ü

What would you tell yourself??

I know what I would: Take one step at a time. And you're not weak if you ask for help. {Of course, I'm still telling myself that}

You are Magnificent!

My favorite line from this newest Mormon Message: "...trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be." I've come back and watch this video a few times lately...when Jeffrey R Holland calls Mothers "magnificent" ... it recharges my batteries just a bit!



Motherhood is so dang hard...especially in the day-to-day, overwhelming scheme of things. I feel like I get most in need of a 'break' when I start looking for outside sources to calm that inside restlessness. And I do take that break...I make sure I give myself something to look forward to once a week....it makes such a big difference! But I have to be careful and make sure that one thing is enough, even if its as small as going to Target for diapers or having friends over to craft! And not to let myself think it's not enough. I chose to be a mother to my children...this is my calling in life.
I have my days where I wish I could be somebody 'special'...have an awesome career or a talent people ooo'd and ahhh'd over. But my kids think I'm somebody special, so they are my career...and my talent is not thinking I'm losing my identity because of them, but creating a better identity with them.
It's enough.

Manners

One of the hardest things to teach kids is Manners. Capital M. Especially these days, when other parents try to run you or one of your children down in the grocery store with their carts, you know they aren't teaching please and thank you's. And when you say 'please' to your waitress at Chili's...she looks at you funny, like you're speaking a foreign language.

For the longest time, I've let my girls get away with asking a question this way:
"Mommy, Aube can't have kool-aid with a lid on it?" or "Bella can't go play outside?"

Aggravating, yes? Almost on the verge of Yoda-talk....not to mention asking in third person or the whole "koolaid with a lid on it"...but we will let that slide for now, they have all these odd ways to explain things...sometimes only I know what they are talking about. One thing at a time.

So, I FINALLY put a stop to it. We sat down for a talk and I gave them examples of "May I" and "Can I" questions. So when Aube says: "Mommy, Aube can't have white ones with the letter on it" (See what I mean....she means a mint)
Mommy: "That's not a question Aube. Whats the right question?"
Aube: "MAY I have white ones with the letters on it?"
Aube is the one who likes to be praised...so she will say 'May I' like 7 out of 10 times...I can't help but gush praises when she does use it, non- prompted!

The whole "May I" thing reminds me of learning manners from my dad. He would never let us say "Can I". I have one very vivid memory of renting our weekly video and asking for a sarsparilla Ü with a "Can I?" And his quip back would always be "I don't know, can you?" Ummm...yes? lol. After awhile, you figure out he's looking for a "May I?".
So, everytime I hear the girls say "May I?" I have to smile. But then I remember, he was still saying "I don't know, can you?" to me when I was in high school!!

Nightly routine

In an effort to get Aube to sleep without the screaming and wailing, I have tried several different techniques. She enjoyed the company of her friends for awhile there....but that seemed to fade quickly, they must have been rubbing her the wrong way. So, now we try books. Before she goes to lie down, she picks out one book and lays down and "reads". She has her snazzy timer-nightlight to read by, so after 15 minutes, she's asleep. I'm not saying she doesn't wail for awhile, she does...but more like a minute vs 20 minutes like it was before.
(She decided to brush up on her Portuguese so she can keep up her end of the convo with daddy.)
Being 2 is so hard!! Parents just don't understand, do they? Aube is the Queen of Temper Tantrums...she knows how to throw a doozie at the drop of the hat.
James found this article and I had a very 'aha' moment when reading it. I love the verification that I'm not raising a brat. I've started working with her vocabulary-wise so she can tell me what she needs and wants...which she is taking to marvelously, thank goodness. There is nothing better than stopping a tantrum with, "What do you want, sweetie" and getting a reply of "fishies in a cup". It's that easy, really?

Mani's and Pedi's....well, kinda.

I haven't worked hardly at all on my off week, and it's been so nice to be around at night with my little family. Last night...after bathtime and putting Aube to bed, Bella and I painted our toenails. (Please don't click on the picture Ü not a pretty site. I handed down my ugly, in-grown-toe-prone toes to Bella, poor girl!)

But we didn't stop there! I painted her fingernails too! Have I ever mention how much I LOVE having girls with all their girliness? She was excited to get them painted, yet didn't know quite what to do with them, asking me to take the paint off a few minutes after we were done. I had to make sure she knew that it wouldn't come off.

Ooo...look at my pretty naaaaails.

I was trying to capture her profile for this profile silhouette thing I want to do. I got a cute little shadow there on daddy's back!

Use your words.

Bella has speech twice a week....and Miss Lester sends her home with homework at least once. And of course, I ALWAYS forget to have her do it....no matter that alot of times we get the homework on Wednesday and by the time the next Monday rolls around I have somehow forgotten to help her do the homework!! Which reminds me that, DUH, helping Bella with her speech should be a DAILY routine...how else is she gonna learn?

Anyways...tonite during a break from work, I'm putting her to bed and have forgotten to go over the homework with her....AGAIN. So, we pull it out.....James is helping me have her say four word sentence about objects we are coloring on the paper.
"The ball is green."
"The purple coat is pretty"
"The scarf is warm"

By the time we get to the end of the page, Bella usually loses interest....like she did tonite. So, James says something like, "The rabbit tastes like chicken" (typical, though I can't think of exactly what phrase he was trying to get her to say).
Bella: "No, you say it daddy." (How's that for FIVE words!)
James: "Bella, say 'The rabbit tastes like chicken'"
Bella: "Good job Daddy!" and holds her hand up for a high-five!

That girl...she cracks me up.

And hopefully one of these days I'll have something to blog about other than my kids....not that its a BAD thing to have a blog SOLEY BASED on conversations held with a 4 year old....but still.

Can I have a side of fries with that knuckle sandwich?

Today after errands, I got us some lunch at Chick-fil-A and headed over to a park I notice always seems to be empty during the day. The girls were uber-excited, though I think its still a tad big hot for middle-of-the-day outside excursions. Just a little bit hot, still had a nice breeze but the girls were red-faced and sweating by the time we left!
Bella never wants chicken nuggets for lunch anymore...must be a BURGER. She had to settle for a chicken sandwich today but kept calling it her "Nugget Sandwich"....crazy girl. (The way she said it reminded me of a "knuckle sandwich")


I brought my book (Stardust by Neil Gaiman, sooooo good!) and got to sit and read while they played. Until the mower started making his rounds and blowing grass all over us...nice.


Sometimes I think that you can measure the amount of fun a child has had by the amount of DIRT that has been accumulated. When we first got there, I could see the look in their eyes: Oooooh DIRT...yay DIRT! And after eating, I was nice and let them just go to town. Bella has properly buried a little Hulk figurine she found on a slide in this picture....

Needless to say, I sprayed them off with the hose when we got home!

Tiny dancer...

I was so nicely reminded by my bestest friend, Krista, that I have neglected to blog about Bella's ballet/tap class! I guess I already blogged this in my mind (you know you do that, too) cause I totally had to look back thru my posts and these pictures of my beauty were missing!!
I signed Bella up for the Fall schedule of ballet and tap at a dance studio just around the corner, she started at the beginning of September and has been to two classes so far. The first class, James was able to take her b/c I had a presidency meeting. Turns out you can't really WATCH them while they learn...they go into the big studio, with the big mirror and ballet bar...and we parents sit out in the waiting room and try and peek thru the cracks in the blinds! But you can definitely HEAR what is going on. And I guess Bella had a bit of a cry that first day...not quite for sure what it was about, though! Just one of those things, I guess....
I LOVED picking out the little outfits for her to wear...pink tights! Tap shoes! Pink ballet shoes!
The second class, this past weekend, I was able to take her.....and sit and LISTEN. I SOOO wished the teacher would have had just ONE blind open! But I do understand how distracting parents can be! Especially when you hear "Bella, point your toe, Bella, look at me, Bella pay attention, Bella watch me, Bella.....Bella....Bella.....Bella.....Bella" (You get the picture). And the teacher is as nice as can be....and definitely patient, though she did come out and talk to me later about working with Bella on extending her arms and keeping them up and helping her in someway with her attention span (the things I am NOW hearing from her speech teacher). So, it was a bit frustrating to sit there and listen to that, I had some tears of my own on the way home, trying to figure out what to do to help my little dancing ballerina.
I KNOW she is enjoying it...because later on that day she was showing her daddy some moves!

Isn't it annoying trying to think of a title for posts? Seriously...I could sit here for an hour trying to think of something whitty or funny....

Today I went in search of some paper for a project...since PSE just wasnt cutting it for me! And there is seriously some AWESOME paper out there...no matter how much I have grown to love digiscrapping and will be doing tons of it...my heart is still with PAPER! Oh how I LOVE creating stuff with PAPER! Ü
And because I was on such a 'high' from finding such great stuff at Michaels, I pulled into Steak 'n Shake to have lunch with my girls. It may make me ghetto...but I love me some S'nS, it reminds me of stake dances! We would always go there afterwards.

The girls both got a hat with their crayons...and Bella kept hers on thru most of her meal, silly girl! They won the hearts of about 3 elderly couples that would wave and smile at them!

The reason I wanted to go there was for their Taco Salad! Ü And it's not black and white like the other pictures b/c it looks like poop instead of beef on top there! Haha...yeah, sorry for that image.

My oh-so-scary picture with Bella...I had to crop out half my face to make myself feel better! But I love the look on Bella's face! And Aube...sweet, sweet Aube....if you put a plate of chicken fingers, fries and ranch {Dip-it..or BIP-IT, in aube-speak}...she will guzzle down the ranch, leaving slimey chicken & fries in her wake! Yum oh yum.

I don't often take the girls to sit- down restaurants by myself...it takes a large amount of courage to brave that scenario. But today I thought, what the heck...beats getting McD's drive thru! And they did so nicely....I love days like these, sitting back and appreciating my two lovely girls.

"Ok...good idea!"

This morning was Bella's first day back to speech therapy with Miss Lester. I'm very excited that she is starting back up again, hopefully it will get her ready for pre-school. Yesterday and early this morning, I had been "coaching" Bella on what to say to Miss Lester, for a question I knew would be coming "What did you do this summer?" I asked Bella the question over and over again, with her oblivious responses of "He takes his mask off and face hurt" (Phantom of the Opera) or "The dragon is mean, take the princess" (Enchanted)....you get the picture. I would tell her "Remember, we went swimming, we went to Grammy & Papa's house, we went to the Circus, and Gramma and Bubba came and stayed with us." To which she would reply "yeah." And then start talking about this or that movie.
So, I don't really know if Miss Lester ever asked her the question, or if Bella was able to give a reply...but I DO know Bella was listening, because all afternoon, this is her side of the conversation:
"Mommy, Bella take a nap...then wake up and go to swimming, go play with Bubba & Gramma, go to Grammy & Papa's house...then go to the Circus, OK Mommy? Ok...good idea!"

Making good use of my "Organizational" skills...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

I am not necessarily a clean person....I do try hard to keep things picked up, though the effort never seems to be enough. Lately, I am soooooo tired of the girls room being so messy. It's totally not cool. I KNOW they are kids and that they are supposed to be messy, it just comes with the territory. But it's getting way to annoying having to follow after them everyday, picking up the destruction they have laid. And adding to that, it's hard to get a 2 & 4 year old to automatically pick-up by themselves w/o some coercion, which sometimes involves my voice going up a couple notches in volume. Either option...just don't like it!

I finally decided to PUT THE TOYS AWAY. Ya know, box them up, put them in the closet, so that when they wanted to play with something specific, you get that box out and they play, then put it away.
My previous way of holding all their toys was this rack, shelf thing with bins. Which is a LOVELY way to hold all the toys...if you're not slightly OCD like myself and have to have each bin for certain toys, the girls not understanding this and haphazardly throwing toys wherever they fall, unknowingly driving mommy crazy Ü.
Thus, the before picture:

And the after pictures:

Things bought:
*new, bigger portable drawer thingy to hold dress-up clothes...replacing smaller drawer thingy that was cracked, broken and drawn on.
*5 storage boxes to house blocks, play food, puppets, random small toys and the Little People.

Though their toys are still scattered thru out the house (of course)....I feel that the clutter has been diminished a tad...and I LOVE that I won't be finding bags full of fake food all over (courtesy of Miss Bella)!

Speaking of that certain, charming child....Bella was quite pooped after "helping" me reorganize their room!


**AND P.S.**That rack with the bins is now listed on Craigslist...please let me know if you want to buy it!

Who does she think she is???

Tonight...
James put on **"Phantom of the Opera" for Bella to watch....He started singing along to "Music of the night....
Bella says "Daddy, just watch."

Seriously...she said that.

Ohhhhh....and this is not the first instance of "Rude Bella". For example, typical dinner time conversation:
Mommy: "Who wants to say the prayer?"
Bella: "Bella say it" (we have yet to start using I's and Me's)
Mommy: "Ok, go ahead"
Bella: "Thank you for the food."
Mommy: "No, start with 'Heavenly Father' please"
Bella: "Bella say it or Mommy say it.....Bella say it, OK."

Ummm....ok. Not to mention the multiple "OK MOMMY" 's in that VOICE (you know which one...the one you gave YOUR mother when you were a kid) several times a day!
Yes...I know, I KNOW...this HAPPENS....and really, at this point, it cracks me up more than makes me mad.

***The Phantom of the Opera was the CD I would play while driving in the car when Bella was an infant. She HATED the car...would scream and scream...SO...I would play the main song, and she would quiet down. I think she remembers when she hears it now. Just like I KNOW Aube remembers me playing Josh Groban when she was in utero and as an infant....I think that is contributing to her love of singing. I cannot get enough of that sweet little voice singing "Where is thumbkin" Ü**

My Portrait....by the talented Miss Bella.

This afternoon, after putting Aube down for a nap, I went in to check on Bella. She was sitting, coloring and watching Enchanted. She was drawing this lovely figure.....I leaned down to hug her, asking:
"Who is this, sweetie?"

Bella answers:

"It's mommy....mean mommy."

Nice....

don't quite know what else to say to that.

Random progress...

In the last couple of weeks, I have started to notice a dramatic increase in Aube's vocabulary. Bella was always pretty behind with her speech and her progress very gradual, so talking was never all of a sudden as it has been with Aube. I guess there might be certain "defense" mechanisms a second child has, to be able to be "seen" standing alongside the older sibling. Aube knows how to get what she wants, she knows the word or sound of the word of everything she could possibly want. For example, the other day she kept saying this word, then running into her room. I finally got the point after a few tries (silly mommy) and followed her. She was saying "mermaid, mermaid, mermaid" over and over again, pointing to her bed. Of course I say, "You are such a pretty mermaid, Aube" LOL (silly mommy) and she would tell me "NOOOOOO", then point to her bed. Turned out her mermaid Barbie was in the bed and she just wanted to play with it. Geez, ma...catch up.

I don't know if this just started happening, or because things have settled down enough for me to notice. But today, Aube walks in here to the office, points at the futon and says to me "Gramma gone".....I about started to cry! For one, because I miss my mom terribly and so do the girls, and for another, Aube said a sentence! Well, almost ...
Then, she and Bella were "camping" while I painted some leaves on my tree Ü, and Bella starts to sing "I am a Child of God" and Aube, cute little thing....starts singing right along with her. She wasn't quite sing words, more the sounds of the words (I'm sure there is a better way to say that, just can't think of it at the moment Ü). This just proves that she IS paying attention when we sing to her at night and even during the crying fits at nursery singing time!

{Get in my BELLY}

Wednesday (since now it's officially Thursday) was The Cheesecake Factory's 30th Anniversary and they celebrated it with $1.50 pieces of cheesecake! James was home sick, so I got to leave Aube with him...so Bella and I got to have a little fun together and met Shannon & Co and a friend from work. We waited for a little over an hour for our table, then around 40 minutes to get the cheesecake....mixed in with tired kiddos....we were READY for that cheesecake! It was yummy...and well worth the wait!

It makes me soooo happy to be able to spend some one on one time with my sweet Bella. She can get a little onery here and there....but she is just growing up SO fast. Love that girl.

{She's spinning between constellations and dreams, Her rhythm is my beating heart}

I seriously have soooooo much catch-up posting to do! That's what I get for leaving it for so long! So...scroll down....there's lots and lots.
I made a tutu for Bella, copied from a tutu her friend Natalie has...the girls had quite a blast with it! Of course, now I need to make 2...one for each, just like everything else it seems!

On a lighter note....

Bella loves it when I take our picture....mostly b/c she wants to look at the picture on the camera afterward! I love close-ups (kinda, please ignore the breakout) but only to look at our eyes. My girls have my eyes and I just ADORE that!

I said "Make a silly face, Bella...." and she did! And thought it was hilarious, too! My girls have abnormally long tongues...Aube is the same way!

Ever so lovely....

I always want to play with Bella's hair...but most of the time after bathtime, we don't have TIME to blowdry and curl her hair. Not that I didn't have anything else to do today, but I just started in on it....blowdrying, curling...she did quite well, as I have no expertise in hair, poor girl!
So, of course I have to take her out on this beautiful sunshine-y day and snap a few photo's. She gets quite the grown-up look on her face after I do her hair...doesn't want to crack a smile!
It always amazes me how MUCH hair she has! All the curl sure does hide it!

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. ∞

Love Letter to Aube: 18 months

Dear Aubree,
My heart is full as I write this to you. You are 18 months today! I cannot believe how time has flown, that you are already Nursery age! It's amazing to think of the things that you have accomplished in just this last month. You have been quite the terror, but in between the tantrums and whining, I see bits and pieces of such a happy little girl. You love to play and laugh...and just this past week, after everything you do, you require a high-five! It's absolutely hilarious.
Your personality is very strong, a great trait for later in life, even if it causes some friction now. You can tell me what you want and especially what you don't want....makes life a little easier, taking the guess-work out of things. It also makes it harder b/c you have started to be a very picky eater and I usually find out everything you DON"T want more than what you do! I don't blame you for being picky....I'm no gourmet cook!
You have had an on-going battle with constipation, hopefully we will find some answers at your doctor's appointment. I hate to see you in pain, and it looks excruciating! I want to fix this problem, no matter what it takes...discomfort is NOT in the game plan!
You are such a beautiful child. I love that you let me put your hair up in pigtails--aptly named "mullet tails."
I love that you lay your head on my shoulder for comfort, take my hand when we walk, readily have a sloppy kiss available! My favorite moment of this month---seeing the sheer excitement in your face when I was coming around the corner at the airport. I will treasure that moment for my entire life! When I'm at my limits of patience b/c you won't eat or won't poop Ü...I will remember that moment, you almost falling over in joy!
This coming month...I promise you I will be a better mom....less short-tempered moments, more book reading, less scolding, more walks in the bright sun.
I love you, beautiful child of mine....
LOVE-Mom